For those of you who know me, you’ll know that I am the Grinch at Christmas. You may have also noticed I have a new-found and overt love for life and everyone in it. However, the two statements are somewhat contradictory which means throughout December I’ve been fighting a constant battle of continuing to spread the love whilst remaining true to my Bah Humbug persona. I am officially the Hippy Grinch. It’s been simultaneously wonderful and exhausting.
Luckily, I’ve had some great opportunities and experiences this December which have prevented me from sinking deeper into my Grinchy state. As I’ve always said though, everyone has days that for whatever reason, aren’t as great as the day before. And for me that was Wednesday. The momentum of the chaos had hit a lull and it suddenly dawned on me how close Christmas was. So, I was sitting there, stuck between the realms of Scrooge and Santa, when I remembered my friend, Dotty, had given me a Christmas Card that I was yet to open.
Tell me, friends and followers, where is the flaw in the card you can see below? Yes, you’ve got it. I’ve spent my life on wheels and I begrudge the snow because I never fail to sink and skid in it, so, how on Earth am I supposed to walk in a Winter Wonderland? Dotty has known me for sixteen of my twenty-five years and she has the knack of tactfully calling a spade a spade. Therefore, I was slightly confused by her choice to send me the most inappropriate card she could find. Was she hoping for a Christmas miracle or did she just instinctively know that I needed a boost at that moment? Either way, I posted it on Facebook in case anyone else needed a pick-me-up and a giggle.
An instant response came from my friend, unofficial agent and the newly crowned Queen of Silver Linings. “I sense a disability Christmas Card coming. Get designing.” Now, my CP quashes any desire I might have had of becoming the next Picasso, but what unfolded was twenty-four hours of me spamming her inbox with very politically incorrect, yet hilarious slogans for said cards. When you’re crying with laughter and happen to have a platform to share the joke, I think it’s rude not to. So, for the wheelchair-bound folks we have ‘Wheeling in a Winter Wonderland’ or if you prefer, ‘A Christmas Cripple’. For those who are hard of hearing, ‘Ding Dong, the Bells Aren’t Ringing’. To cater to the visually impaired community, there’s ‘If You Could See What I See’. To ensure the vertically challenged feel part of the gang, 'Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas'. Inspired by those with a fading memory, we have a couple of options; firstly, ‘Do They Know It’s Christmas?’ or my personal favourite, ‘Happy Easter – Wishing You All the Best for 1973’.
Whether you’re in stitches at this point or think I’m offensively over-stepped the mark, you’ll all agree that everyone’s sense of humour is different. Everyone has conflicting ideas and perspectives on life. And everyone is guaranteed to disagree on whether Brussel sprouts make or break Christmas Dinner. That’s what makes it all either totally magical or a total nightmare. Not every inch of the Big Day has to be perfect. If you’re struggling to find your festive spirit, I’m certain it’s not in the bottom of the tenth bottle of spirits you open. Although, it’s worth looking in the first one. Sit back and relax. It’ll be what it’ll be…Individually and unconventionally rustic.
Merry Christmas. Keep being awesome.
With love from the Hippy Grinch